Why My Memories Never Fade

Why My Memories Never Fade

My memories of my past have become my guide for the future.  To know me and have an idea of what I have experienced, you have to connect to me through my memories and understand why they will never fade.  This is my story.

Throughout my life, I’ve had many experiences.  The positive experiences were everything in life I wanted them to be; some perfect, some wonderful, some fantastic.  However, there were also some experiences that were negative.  No matter how much I wanted them to be a perfect, there were some moments in time which changed the course of everything that was important to me.  

It’s no surprise then that I try to reconstruct and relive the negative experiences to try to prevent those moments from happening again.    No matter how hard I tried, there was no way to alter those memories.  I remembered them strongly and in great detail.  For me, these memories were negative representations of the past.  They were guarded and intended to be put away never to see the light of day, but I realized the positive and negative memories defined who I am.  All the memories were a way of informing me of who I am and who I could be.  For me, they were the truths that I didn’t want to acknowledge and the reality I had to face.

Remembering my triumphs and failures have allowed me to understand myself and others.  I realized that through my memories of the past, they will never fade as they will help me define the future.  To understand what was happening on the outside, I had to understand what was happening on the inside.







A Consumer’s Right

A Consumer’s Right

As a consumer, I feel it’s the responsibility of those who I pay for a service or product to adjust their attitude and respect my rights as a consumer.  This is my story.

All businesses know me.  I am their  lifeline.  It’s not a question of whether a business would make or lose money on me. It boils down to giving me what I expect when paying for a product or service:  fairness, respect and dignity.  I should never feel undeserved and undervalued in a business.

I understand all consumers are not reasonable all the time.  I understand customer service does not have a one size fits all.  I understand you can’t please everyone who comes to a business for a service or product because everyone is different.  Maybe not, but I want you to understand that as a business, it’s up to you to be creative from the moment I enter your doors.  Don’t continue to offer me poorly conceived and outdated products and services. I will not settle for services or products that ignore my needs.  It’s your responsibility to approach me and get to know me personally.  It’s your responsibility to find out what my individual needs are if I don’t readily reveal them.  It’s your responsibility to educate yourself and offer a tailored product or service I can value or use.   When you properly deal with me, you may develop an opportunity for me to be a repeat customer.

I acknowledge there have been personal financial stories about businesses not valuing a consumer’s rights.  These stories are not always about the rights of paying consumers, but the lack of dignity and respect given to any human being when services or products are paid for, not rendered, and how it reflects on each of us.  If I am dissatisfied as a consumer, I need to be able to expose and address ill treatment and with available  channels at my disposal to stand up for my rights.  I have the right to protect myself from fraud and abuse.

Companies are in the business of competing fiercely for your consumer monies; however, when I feel a business shows a lack of concern or fails to acknowledge what matters to me, that business will no longer retain me as a consumer.  I should never feel overburdened and overwhelmed when entering a business and buying a service or product. 

I find society has always been separated on how it generates income and how it influences a business’ reception to you.  The problem comes when society readily expects and accepts less than what they are worth by a business who can’t control and balance their priorities.  A business will never have a problem reinforcing public perception that they have unlimited power undervaluing consumers and are trained to put their interests and profits first above everything. 

Please remember if I enter a business and its staff does not care of me as a consumer, rest assured that if I go to its competition, they will.

Why I Won’t Throw in the Towel

Why I Won’t Throw in the Towel

When things don’t go my way as I hoped or when I’m tired of failing at everything I attempt because the pace I expected didn’t develop, I felt like throwing in the towel, but I didn’t.  This is my story.

When I decided I had enough, I experienced so much uncertainty of the future and fear of the unknown.  Restlessness and questioning decisions made earlier made things difficult, but with inner strength I knew I could get through it.  What made me stay and fight longer and continue to hang on?  I didn’t want these things to define me.  I realized in life there will always be stages where you explore, accept, and reflect on things you have no control over in this world.  Past and present mistakes became life’s training.  To persevere in any situation made me realize courage in action.  To fight the urge to be discouraged when disengagement and resignation roared their heads in my direction made me realize mental toughness. I learned I could find a balance I could live with and give myself permission to do so.

Learning how to set my goals meant empowering myself to make adjustments to a present plan or find a new strategy or method to accomplish them.  I knew once I found a way to accomplish my goals, I wouldn’t abandon them when things got tough.  When lessons are learned, experiences are gained.

In the end, the benefits are undeniable.  I learned to overcome obstacles by persevering through tough times and maintaining a passion for any goal I wanted to accomplish and build a foundation for long term success.  I can’t control unexpected circumstances, but I can control me. 

What I Learned When Keeping a Promise

What I Learned When Keeping a Promise

It seemed like it was only yesterday when I spoke to you and you asked me to looked after a loved one before you passed.  I knew I would keep my promise and you would have nothing to worry about in this life or the next one you entered.  This is my story.

In the grand scheme of my life, my promise to you would be my ultimate test.  My self worth would be measured by it.  My everlasting struggle would be my failure in keeping it.

It was clear what you expected.  My thoughts and feelings raced to what kind of reasoning I could use to justify not fulfilling that promise.  My feelings of uncertainty, my inability to be unwilling and incapable of the task before me added fuel to the enormity of the reality I faced.  In my mind, I reasoned life happens and things come up.  In my heart, I knew I was rationalizing, but I knew my promise to you had power.  I knew the benefits of keeping it and the penalties if I didn’t.

In that moment, I rose to my potential and challenged myself.  I had to learn about me and develop into a better person.  I pushed myself and worked harder to fulfill my promise to you.  I embraced personal sacrifice more than I let on to those around me.  I chose persistence and perseverance instead of impatience and discomfort.  I was empowered to create a plan and take on any real and imagined obstacles along the way.

I will continue to keep my word to you and honor my commitment and I shall reap my greatest reward later.  My promise to you mattered because you mattered.



Why I’m Better Alone

Why I’m Better Alone

Who would of thought I would survive the end of a relationship and come out the better because of it?  This is my story.

I was not one to think of finding my Mr. Right nor my soulmate.  When I did get into a relationship and ended it after years of unconditional pain, it became one of the best lessons I could learn in life.  My battle wounds and scars I endured and continue to wear will not keep me from continuing on with my life and meeting people who I can pass on my experiences to in this journey of life.

When a relationship ends, it’s not always due to a lack of not giving it your all and trying to give everything to make it survive.  I got lost in him.  I put myself aside and shifted all of my focus onto him.  Life was good as long as this scenario continued to be this way.  I would give my heart and soul in everything that mattered to him and go all out to show him just how incredibly important he was to me.  It was never appreciated or reciprocated.  Once reality set in and the process of letting go began, I quickly realized how strong I was and I learned about surviving the insurmountable.  I learned I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone.  I learned it was fine to make mistakes that I didn’t have the forethought to see.  I learned it was fine to walk away from a situation knowing that I didn’t do anything wrong, but everything right.  Life was not fair at the time for me, but I decided I was going to keep moving forward and not lose my sense of worth and peace of mind.  I was going to make wiser choices and be the recipient of a peaceful and joyful life.

I took life’s lemons and made lemonade and I’m treasuring each and every moment.  I chose to do what was right for me and not what was easy and make change for me happen.

How I Survived Just Getting By

How I Survived Just Getting By

It’s hard to believe that living in the richest country in the world people are just getting by.  I am employed and yet I struggle with just getting by.  This is my story.

I’m a single person who lived through and survived a painful experience which nearly cost me unimaginable ruin due to events outside of my control.  I did nothing wrong, but meet the wrong person who didn’t have my interests at heart.  I fell on hard times and picked myself up. I work hard every day, but I barely scrape by each month.  I know I am lucky to be employed, no matter how I dread the daily grind.  An ideal dream come true for me would be to get a raise, even a promotion.  I keep dreaming of the day where life would be so easy to buy the things I can’t currently afford.  With money being budgeted, I’ve learned to get creative when it comes to basic needs of life.  I’ve learned to live by necessity.

Sometimes it’s hard to plan for a vacation or to even shop for the basic necessities. Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the simple pleasures in life as it’s like getting too used to comfort.  I make much less to live by to get ahead, but make too much to receive public assistance.  The rare times I have extra money, I have to decide whether to spend it for little moments of pleasure or be responsible and manage my money in case of an emergency I didn’t foresee happening.  I know there are no guarantees in life.

I realized even though I don’t have much, I have enough to share with others.  One of my new life goals was to help support and give back through donating of charitable items and volunteering for non-profit organizations.  Donating and volunteering may not be much, but to me, it has allowed me to be richer and be a part of something bigger than myself than feeling sorry for myself.  I also realized that asking for help didn’t make you weak, but human.  I was given a purpose and I was inspired to deal with any challenge head on.  But what really helped me was knowing I had to get to a place where I accepted what happened to me before any progress could be made.  This became my new reality.

I’m having it hard, but I’m getting through it and setting an example. I’m the one who has managed to survive insurmountable obstacles.  I’m the one who was tired of just getting by.

In the Shadows

In the Shadows

At times in this play of life, I know you see me. You know I can blend in the crowd.  I am one of many characters.  This is my story.

I am one of those people who was created to fulfill a brief role for the main characters in this play of life. I appear briefly, but I have a story to tell. I am a character who has no name or claim to fame.  I am not supposed to matter.  I appear and do things, but the audience seldom wants to get to know me. I am part of the action, but I am not the focus. I don’t have a continual role.  I am the credible person the audience can relate to.  I add support and value to the main characters making them more complete and interesting. I contribute without taking.  I make the play move along.

I live in an indifferent world where being unnoticed and unheard is common. I will never be significant. If I become a distraction to the main characters, I become expendable and I am cut out completely. You can’t have people wondering why so much focus was spent on me than the main characters. The play would have to be revised to explain why so much time was spent on making me matter more than the main characters. You would expect me to fade back in the foreground and be part of the background.

I am invisible.